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I hate to judge, really and truly, but Sloths, bless their hearts, are weeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiirddddddddddd. Indigenous to the jungles of Central and South America, sloths are thought to have evolved around 60 million years ago. The sloths of today are tree dwellers, but their ancestors include enormous, ground-dwelling sloths, like the Megatherium, which was one of the largest mammals to ever walk the earth.

The two-toed and three-toed sloths are small and only grow to be about 50-60cm long, the size of a medium-sized dog. Sloths have small heads, flat faces, snub noses and beady eyes. If I had to pick their celebrity doppleganger, I'd have to sayyyyyyy, Danny Devito? They have small, underdeveloped ears that often make it difficult for them to hear predators approaching--which makes me want to go more towards George Clooney; everyone knows he's terrible at detecting approaching predators.

Sloths eat, sleep, mate, and give birth to their young while hanging in trees. They spend SO much time with their legs above their bodies, their hair, which is usually bulky and course, grows away from their arms and legs, which provides protection from the elements. Sloths are not at all concerned with grooming, and so their fur generally contains algae, mold and even parasites. Living in trees with moldy hair...bunch of dirty hippies.

They are, in fact, the slowest moving mammals on earth, next to DMV employees. They also have large, slow-acting stomachs, which causes their leaf digestion to take a month or more. Not pooping for a month may be a fate worse than death. Let me check...yes, that is in fact worse than death.

The Sloth uses its long sharp claws for climbing and hanging and as its only real form of defense. Sloths protect themselves by slashing out at predators, which include large birds of prey, snakes, jaguars and humans, with their claws. Maybe that's why my grandmother always carries her knife set when out with her walker...